This post is all about a lesson learned this week, one that will likely stick with me for a good long time.
When the girls were born they were tiny amazing wonders and I really had the whole go with the flow attitude down. I will let them sleep when they want to fall asleep, I will let them eat when they want to eat and I will just go with it.
This worked out amazingly. They were happy babies and they were thriving. They woke during the night three times in the beginning and two times until recently and every time they woke we would feed them and put them down and they would just drift back off to sleep in their amazing way. This past month or so the whole drifting back off sort of petered off and Isla sort of refused to go to sleep unless she ate herself to sleep on the boob.
It was time to change things up... so I thought.
So while at Chapters last weekend I happened on a book. I read about the pick up put down method and thought it was pure genius (okay maybe you other mothers figured this out on your own... I did not). So I bought the book, read on and figured that hey getting the girls into a four hour routine where they put themselves to sleep would be awesome.
So this past week has felt like an ongoing marathon. There's been some progress, some good that has come out of this but there has also been crying and worst of all a slew of self doubt.
I was torn between the competitive, determined me and the new soft, uber emotional me.
The tipping point.... the boob... it rebelled... it basically said your new "routine" is a load of crap and does not work for us (it is ridic engorged... help me please). Then I became a sobby mess feeling like I had failed the girls which of course I hadn't but it really rang home the whole intuition thing. My girls love the boob and this book was clearly not breastfeeding friendly and I am no way near ready to stop.
So the boob won, well maybe we all won.
This morning I fed them both in bed, half sleeping and knew the book was wrong. This time that we have together now is so much more important then forcing them into a routine.
Now I don't regret the purchase altogether as I did find the pick up put down method very useful. I now have a tool other than the boob that I can use to soothe them to sleep.
but in the end... my gut won.
as it should have.
|Instinct by Mindiaphotos via etsy|