Thursday, November 17

now i know why people do this again

and again, and sometimes again...

Growing up there was a house in our neighborhood that I used to refer to as the village, well I used to call it half of a house since they lived in a semi and I didn't realize that many many people live in semis, townhomes and condos.  When you walked by this home you saw toys all over the lawn, children running all over the yard and a pregnant woman.  Rumour even had it that they converted the garage to house more children.  I think they were up close to ten children by the time I was a teenager.

I always wondered why.... why would you ever have that many children?

Well I kind of get it.  I mean I will never have ten children, I will likely never have anymore children.  But I get it. You look at their face... especially when they start to smile at you... when they are babies and want them to freeze like that, be forever young.  I mean I want mine to grow up but slowly... very slowly so I can relish every second of it but time goes by so fast and they are only little for so long.

I've been out with Alice and Isla a few times with other moms of singletons (what we multiple moms refer to moms with one baby as) and inevitably they start to talk about plans for the next baby.  Some of them try to work out how soon they can get pregnant again and still be eligible for another year off after the next baby.  I usually end up repeating to myself (in my head of course) that two is wonderful, it was our best case scenario and it will be wonderful to raise these two girls and that will be enough.  And it likely will be.  Of course a small part of me thinks about that embryo frozen at the clinic.  I end up thinking about it more now since mother nature pulled a fast one on us and tricked us into thinking one of our transferred embryos didn't take last december and that our girls were identical... which they clearly are not.  So they both took.  Maybe the frostie could take too?

yeah i get it.  babies are awesome.

how many children do you dream of having?



  1. I dream of having 4, but I doubt that will happen for us either. I find myself talking about going through treatments for baby #2 in the near future because I know how long it took us to have Aiden...and I worry about getting too old. It's tough decisions and I hate the whole process! I wish it was easier for us infertiles!

  2. As a fellow infertile still in the trenches waiting for #1 I can say that this is one of the most difficult parts of infertility, it takes away our ability to choose. To choose how many kids we want and to choose when to have them. Instead we are at the mercy of Dr.'s and drugs with absolutely no choice at all other than the choice to move forward or stop treatments. I hope you can find the peace in your 2 that you were blessed with or that you can find the strength to try for embaby #3.

    And to answer your question I desperately want 3, but with 1 being so elusive I am slowly losing hope that that dream will ever come true.

  3. we already have one. and we've been talking about #2 for a while. In a way I'm hesitant to get pregnant because I'm alreay, right this second shed tears that it will be the last one.

    I want three. Hubby think that two is plenty. In a way I ALSO think two is plenty. But my heart wants baby #3. So bad.

    It is weird that way. I already love that baby. Even it is never meant to be.

    Hormones, they really mess with our emotions.

  4. I literally dreamt last night that I was preggers with number 3.... not sure if that will ever happen though b/c hubby likes our brood of 2. What to do? not sure what the future holds...

  5. Before all this infertility bs I wanted three. I still do want three. But that makes me feel selfish.

    But I still want three.

  6. My baby is only 8 days old and already she's growing too fast!!

  7. Am I crazy in thinking I could do another in... say 2 years? I would put it as an outside possibility.

    So they are fraternal in the end eh? What a crazy ride for you! Will you do DNA to verify?

  8. One more. Maybe--and that's a big maybe--we'll have 3. But I don't even wanna think about baby #2 until this one is potty trained.

  9. oh---I have 5 frosties, and I secretly want them all to take (not at once, though). I cannot afford 6 kids, though, and I for sure am getting too old to think I can space 5 more out accordingly before the age of 50! Ah!

  10. Seriously, there is a constant tug and pull of being content in the moment we are in, wanting time to stand still, getting excited for behr to grow up, and wanting more kids. I have always pictured our family with a huge brood, "the village." Maybe 7 or 8, but 5 is probably my upper limit for practical reasons. I hope that I remain content and continue to feel blessed no matter how many children I have.

  11. Is there any chance for another for you? Or are you and your husband committed to 2? I'd love to have more...3 or 4 would be great but I see my age as a limiting factor...we might try again with the frosties we have but for now just focusing on getting two healthy babies out into the world...