When the class started out with a video of a women getting a c-section my stomach was already starting to do flips. I loathe the thought of getting a c-section. I know that many many women in north america get elective c-sections and I also understand that there are scenarios where a c-section is necessary..... I just really really really don't want one... for many reasons. In my view, a baby is meant to come out the way we were made to deliver, our body was built a certain way for a reason. I also have strong opinions on the specifics around delivering, to start... women should not be forced to deliver laying down on a hospital bed, they should have options to birth in the most comfortable position for them, not what is most convenient for the doctor. Also, all of the intervention involved in birth just creeps me out.... epidurals, pitocine, epitiostomies... and the list goes on. Yes I know that I have never given birth and say all of this in a state of pure ignorant bliss, however when you start to hear that one intervention leads to another, it just gets scary! Likely my issues with all of this is a pure loss of control. I like to control things, I won't be able to control this.
My worries surrounding the c-section were soon forgotten when we were presented with a slide show of the NICU. All I remember thinking was asking the twins to please stay in my tummy and grow until at least 37 weeks. I do not want them to end up in the NICU. Babies were shown in photos next to their parent's hand, nothing can prepare you for how small and helpless they look. I want big babies... forget this whole fear of getting fat thing.... I will lose the fat afterwards and take big babies any day.
The last big reality check.... the speaker subtlety mentioned that we (as in the moms in the room) would require 24 hour care for at least the first six weeks postpartum. Six weeks.... okay..... so we were thinking that Andrew would take a couple of weeks off.... now we are worrying.... what if they need to be in the NICU..... I can't just start up the at home routine solo if Andrew has to use up two weeks in the NICU. We will have to figure this out. Luckily we do have plenty of wonderful family around. We will come up with a plan.
So that was our Sunday.... I got out of bed at 10:00 am this morning... and have been on the couch reading ever since.
Who knew that having twins would be so complicated.....I am sure of one thing, it will all be worth it.
|via Carrie Sandoval|