Thursday, October 21

pick me up, hello iclw!


Last thursday I spent an hour with a woman talking about my life.  This was not some stranger I met on the street.  This was a fertility psychologist.  Things became normal for an hour.  She had an amazing ability to make me feel like I was feeling the way I was supposed to feel.  Things were put in perspective.  I should not expect to feel normal.  It is not shocking that I feel isolated when I am around other people.  I should not fight this.  How can I not feel isolated when so few people can relate.

One hour later and I felt more in control than I have in months.  A few things really resonated with me.  My Husband will not know what to say to make me feel better.  When a woman decides that she wants to have a baby she wants it to have happened yesterday.  Men do not feel this sense of urgency.  Now I do have to say that I consider my Husband somewhat exempt from the lack of urgency.  That being said, I cannot expect him to know what to say in moments of weakness when I do not know what would make me feel better in those moments.

Another key revelation.. I need to reward myself... enough of this "i can't we're buying the chance at a baby".  We are not talking a Holt Renfrew shopping spree here, but I do need to get out and be with people and treat myself well.  This is a trying time and it is not the time to be neglecting myself.  So.. what are we doing this weekend?  We are going on a mini getaway to The Nelligan in Old Montreal... I am excited!

Tomorrow... bring on the Marvelon!

Rue St-Paul, Old Montreal, via
 

17 comments:

  1. I love Quebec!!!! love Montreal and Quebec City!

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  2. Montreal is on my list of "places to visit before I die."

    I hope you have a fabulous time on your mini getaway. Sometimes a getaway is just the ticket to get your mind, body and soul at peace.

    *hugs*

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  3. What a beautiful picture! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I can't wait to follow your journey, too!

    Happy ICLW~#149

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  4. I love, love Montreal! Have a great time. A spur of the moment getaway sounds about perfect.

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  5. Thanks for stopping by my blog :) I hope you have a great trip! I think it's great that you met with a fertility psychologist! I might have to try that..

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  6. I didn't even know fertility psychologists existed! I'm glad it made you feel empowered :)

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  7. Ooh I love that street, I've been there before! I am actually hoping to become a fertility psychologist (I am already a psychologist) as soon as this whole thing is past. I think it's great you went!

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  8. Wow, sounds like a great session. I am glad that she was able to make you feel better and see things in a different light. I hope you have a great weekend and enjoy treating yourself :)

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  9. Thats awesome that you were able to meet with a fertility Psychologist! I didn't know they existed either! Part of this crazy journey is unfrtunately feeling alone. That is why I LOVE blogging and feeling part of this community. Enjoy your vaca!!

    Thanks for checkin out my blog, btw!!

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  10. Glad your sessions with the fertility psychologist are helping to resolve and shed light on the emotions of IF, and leading to actions such as taking a weekend in Montreal! Have a wonderfully fun time and happy ICLW.

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  11. This is a pretty positive entry, i'd say!
    Enjoy the weekend!

    Juni @ www.becauseofmatch.com/lesspublic

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  12. Hey A - I'm not sure that all men don't feel the urgency - my hubby is certainly one, like me, who wanted us to be pregnant yesterday - though for the first year he was a little more relaxed! Since we hit year 2 (and now into year 3) - that BFP day won't come soon enough!

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  13. It's so true - you need to take care of your mental health during this time and do things that make you feel better - good advice also given to my by my infertility therapist. Enjoy Montreal! have breakfast at Chez Nora - crepes that you will go crazy over. I lived there back in 2004-05 - wonderful city and a good break for you.

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  14. Great to hear that the psychologist visit was useful. I recently met up for dinner with an online IVF friend (first time real life meeting). It was so great to chat with someone who understands, and (as you say) feel completely normal for a couple of hours. An experience like this really highlights how alienated we feel most of the time. I'm going to a fertility psychologist next week. I hope she can help me too.

    Good luck on your journey.
    x

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  15. So glad to hear the psychologist was helpful. I know what you mean about feeling isolated. My friends are very supportive but ultimatly, they have no idea what I'm going through. I always feel like there is an elephant in the room. They don't see it b/c he's in my head. And then I remember that all this stuff I am thinking about isn't part of the conversation. It's constantly on my mind but I don't tell them that. It's just different.

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  16. Chloe, that is exactly how it is. All that stuff that we are thinking about isn't part of the conversation (well it is sometimes for me because I tend to share a lot) but it is constantly on my mind and I don't tell them that so it is very different.

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  17. Reading other blogs has taught me that what I feel during the various highs, lows, and betweens of this journey is all normal. It doesn't mean it's fun, but you're not crazy! I think it's great you have a fertility psychologist to go to - sounds amazing to me! :-D

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